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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Chandler

Disney - Epcot

If you think you're too old for Disney, think again. One word...alcohol. Yes, that’s right folks, Disney has...alcohol. If you go to Epcot, you may get about 2% less children in the park than you would if you went anywhere else. And they have...alcohol. So, what better way to redo Amy's 30th birthday than to go somewhere where you can drink...yup you guessed it...alcohol. Being that we love to travel and see the world, we figured that we only have a few days to spare amongst our busy schedules, so why not see a good portion of the world in a matter of eight hours. Hello Epcot center.

If you decide to bring a Grumpy Gus with you (aka Patrick), you have to go somewhere that serves...alcohol. The only way to turn a Grumpy Gus into a Jolly Joe is…alcohol. Amy and Pat flew directly from New York and Stephanie met them from Mexico, in the beautiful Orlando, Florida. Obviously for those of you who are dumb and don't already know this, staying on Disney property is the way to go because if you are going to be drinking...alcohol...driving is not an option. Staying on Disney property will get you free transportation and you get into the park a half hour early which is a nice little leg up on the competition. What else are you going to do, sleep?! That first night we headed to Disney Springs for some dinner and drinks to kick off the birthday weekend.

The next morning (Amy's actual birthday), we woke up at an ungodly hour to get to the parks to start drinking...alcohol. However, if you bothered to do any research you would know that they don't start serving...alcohol...until 11am. But don't worry, amongst our group there is a big Ratatouille fan (Patrick) and we knew that would kill some time waiting on line. After three rides, it was finally 11am and it was time to start drinking...alcohol.

When you drink around the world, you want to start at one end or the other. Don't start in the middle like an idiot. You don't want to miss anything. We started in Canada because let's be honest, ending in Mexico is a way more fun place to complete your day of drinking than Canada...lame. A quick google search would probably tell you what to drink in each country but we went during the Garden and Flower Festival and got a cute little passport book that gave you suggestions on what to drink (and eat, but who cares).

As we moved through the countries, it started getting hotter and we started getting drunker. Unless you're a professional...alcohol...drinker, that shit is hard once you're in your thirties. It is hard to maintain a buzz and not get too drunk in order to finish the whole thing. Remember it is a marathon, not a race...Amy and Stephanie failed the marathon. Disclaimer: we did get drunk but not too drunk. We just couldn't do America, Norway, or China.

Half way through, we decided that we needed food. That would help our marathon race. If you've read any of our past blogs, the common theme (besides...alcohol) seems to be how picky we are when it comes to eating. So where are we going to eat? America, duh! We felt like we didn't have to drink in America since we ate. We thought it was a fair trade off. On a side note, if you are a food person, this is such a great experience. You can try very small food items in each country. Don't let the prices fool you. They're priced as full meals but they are only little snack servings. You can literally taste different foods all around the country all in one day. We would also suggest snacking all day then sitting down for a meal...that's where we fucked up. We were way too hungry by the time we got to America.

The day went on and the drinking got harder with each country. Also beer is super heavy. Don't get beer. The frozen beer in Japan isn't that good. It's not ice cream on top, it’s foam. It was pretty gross. Pick literally anything else. And maybe doing a shot or two in some countries instead of a full drink is a good idea too.

Fun fact, there is a bathroom in only every other country. Don't miss a bathroom opportunity. If it's there just use it! We can't remember which country it was but one of them has a real fun family bathroom which we found ourselves in. If you always wanted to try a urinal as a female, this is your chance. Stephanie did a really good job at it. Amy failed and had to use the toilet bowl like a real girl.

A cute little thing: you can get a passport sticker in each country. Just look for the children's section because that’s where they are. We are children, so our main goal (besides drinking) was to get this stupid sticker. But let's be real, these stickers will probably be going in the garbage when we get home. I mean, what are we going to do with them?!

Also, don't be an idiot to wait to get to the park to get a pair of ears or cute matching shirts. If you see them on etsy, just order the damn things because you will forget. But good news, you can get almost anything on Amazon, and we mentioned that proudly every time someone stopped to ask where we bought our shirts.

Photo passes are worth whatever you paid for (we'll never remember how much we paid for it). There are people everywhere to take your picture and it is so easy to download them straight from the app. It's so much better. To be honest, you're not getting good pictures of yourself, especially when you’re drinking. We are big picture people; taking and being in them. Do yourself the favor and get the photo pass. You'll get lucky sometimes and find that they added in some cute little magic in some of your pics.

By the time you get to Mexico, you are definitely good and drunk. It won't be worth staying for the fireworks. You're going to get stuck in a big crowd leaving. So slurp up the last of that margarita and head back to the hotel.

On our weekend getaway it rained the next day which worked out perfectly. So what do you think we did on a rainy hotel day??? Come on, you know the answer to this one….Very good! Yes, we got ourselves some...alcohol and did some old fashioned hotel drinking.

P.S. If you are going to book a flight for the way home at 6am, don't do it during daylight savings where you lose an hour of sleep. That shit really sucked.

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